You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
