Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
