I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
