Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
