She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Found your dick twin last night
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
