I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
