did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
