There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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