I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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