do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
