$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize