OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize