I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
