Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
