I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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