Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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