belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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