i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
