Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
