she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
porn star boner night. come get it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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