Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
