she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize