Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
