im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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