we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
