i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He has the fingertips of a God
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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