the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
