I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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