I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
