i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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