check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You can't just leave with hair like that
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
