So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
