Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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