i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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