Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
