I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My dick has a subreddit
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
