Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
