i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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