No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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