I love black thongs
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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