K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
