I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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