Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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