i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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