Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
