Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
barbara walters just said penis...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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