he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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