i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
