Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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