I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
