Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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