There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize