is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
