that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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