The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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