So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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