Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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