so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
