sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you would pick up someone in the library
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
