marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Someone shit on the floor
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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