and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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