just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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