Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
