shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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