In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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