ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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