you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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