I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
