Sry I called you an 8
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize