I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
