i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
