You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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