just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
