im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
