hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
