none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so let's talk penis.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
