What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just found puke in my bra..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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