I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
