i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
