He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
