First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
