just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We're too hungover to prance.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize