And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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