I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
