I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
